Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Randomize