is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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