All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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