he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
