I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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