Non-Jews are for practice
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
