so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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