You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
