It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
