508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize
