Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
zippers are such a cool invention
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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