hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
