No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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