U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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