im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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