Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
