im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
