The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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