i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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