so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
