Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize