i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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