my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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