don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
