I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
