i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
