Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
