my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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