? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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