At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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