she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
