singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
