So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
