Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I love you.
Bad choice
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
