My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize