Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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