you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
