Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
