could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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