I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
