Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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