Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
