one might say we're banned from that church
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
