I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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