The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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