If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
