no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
