She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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