I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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