can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize