did you get engaged???
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
