I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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