She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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