How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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