SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
