if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
