LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She even gives head with a lisp.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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