i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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