Me too!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
